Tuesday, April 19, 2011

This is the Life of DJ Snoop

For a Saturday we were busy and it was only day time! I would like to think it was due to the fact the Bulls are kicking ass and taking names this year. Either way it was a good crowd. It was good enough to call in the big DJ guns and of course our one and only DJ Snoop came strolling in on a couple hours of sleep. He thought the game was later in the evening, oops.

After the craziness of the game (and the random old people bar crawl that strolled in) DJ Snoop decided to kick back and have a couple drinks before coming in later to be a door guy. He began around 2 and I got done working around 6ish. I went over to count my money and see what the deal was. In the 4 hours of sitting at the bar with Mr. Creeptastic he had rung up a $100 bill, by himself. Now there was one young lady sitting at the bar completely blacked out and making awkward advances towards him. I noticed wherever he went she shortly followed.

At one point he came up and asked me to help him get away from this girl. I mean think of a Saturday night 3am clinger with the makeup running down her face and the hair a bit messy, that was this chick, I wouldn't touch her with his downstairs!

So after checking my money we were chatting and he asked if I could drive him home cause he needed a nap before coming back in. Apparently he had moved his car earlier in the day and what was normally an easy parallel park job took him 45 minutes and his car was slanted and sticking out like an asshole. Needless to say I obliged and took him home. As we were making our way out the door this train wrecked girl starts grabbing his butt and following us. I was afraid she was going to go all Single White Female on us so I ducked out and let him take care of it. I don't know how but he dodged that bullet quick. We climb into the car and head to his place (which by the way I had no idea where he lived and all he kept saying was just go straight) so we stop at the gas station and he offers to buy me ruffle's chips, apparently I look like I eat a lot of those. Awesome. Anyway we get to his place and as I am dropping him off I wonder how he will get back to work.

He explains he has a bike and will venture to work on it. It has already snowed today and getting colder by the minute but I will let him figure it out. I tell him to sleep and drive away. I had to circle back around because the dumb asses on Diversey apparently can't drive. So I pass by his place where he is outside smoking a cig with his roommate and chit chatting. Mind you he has to be back at work by 9 and it is past 7 now. I yell at him to go inside and sleep.

Fast forward to 9:15pm. I receive a text explaining he just got out of the shower and the room is still spinning. Awesome. I made sure to let him know he was already late for work. He said he knew and was working on getting there but the John Daley's were really catching up to him at this point. He made it in to work where I learned later that the entire staff decided to drink and get crazy and go to the after hours bar! DJ Snoop said that when he was at work he sobered up just to get drunk again with Mr. Circles. I wish I had been there to see this, I am sure it would have added to this blog.

I saw DJ Snoop on Sunday and he said that he finally recovered and that he found his car still parked like an asshole on the street and faintly remembered the 45 minute park job. He then threatened to poison my buffalo wings, yes ladies he is a keeper!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Don't Be Surprised

Ok we all know Cubs and Sox season has began. We also know people are going to be talking shit all season and that in the end it is NOT the Cubs year (again). With this being said I must forwarn you all that you may be offended by this article if you are a Cubs fan, sorry bout your loss.

Moving on. I work in a Sox bar. Everyone there is a Sox fan minus like 3 people, we all watch the games, know who the players are, and will always be Sox fans. If you look around we do not have any Cubs paraphernalia on the walls. We do however have a Sox shirt to wave our undying loyalty to the Sox. The reason we do not sport more is because we are located in Wrigley and apparently Cubs fans there can't handle anyone not being a Cubs fan. I proudly sport my Sox gear during game days when I work and I always get the same question,"Are you really a Sox fan?" Let me explain why this question is absolutely absurd.

Why would I go out of my way and spend my hard earned money on a shirt to support a team I do not like? Why would I talk baseball and give you a disgusted look if you talk about the opposing team. Why would I wear a Sox shirt in a "Cubs territory"? So basically to help anyone out who comes in and asks any one of us if we are really Sox fans, yes we are. I promise you we are not messing with you, we do not go out and pay money for Cubs shirts just to make you happy, we buy our Sox shirts because we are fans. If you honestly can't handle being in a bar that does not have any Cubs gear on it then please make your way over to Clarke street, but first why not ask the millions of Cubs "fans" to name 5 players on the team, I bet they can't. Take for example this girl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxIXnR5Zuqw

My point has been made. We do not hate on you for being Cubs fans so please don't hate on us. Let's make this a friendly rivalry and all will be well in the bar world!! There is my rant for right now!