Kickball and Abortions

It's that time of the year again when summer kickball leagues have started. We run our own league with approximately 16 teams that gather every Sunday to enjoy some good old fashioned kicking of balls. I personally love this time because the people who play in the league are incredibly fun and know how to have a good time. They treat us as servers well and know how our bar is run.

With that being said I had to stand in and be a ref for the first day because the other 2 assistants were out of town. My brother and I teamed up and ran the league. We had 2 balls deflate, teams whom-ping each other, and lots of beers being drank. The games last about 45 minutes unless the slaughter rule runs into effect and then they least about 15 minutes. Some teams stick around all day to watch the games and hang out by the field. There was one team in particular that decided to help out with the other teams who didn't have members showed up. They graciously decided to help out so there were not any forfeits.

Around the 4th game being played I was standing behind first base (working on my tan and watching the plays to make sure the outs were called successfully) and a gentleman stepped out of a car and was on the phone. The field is next to some apartments and I can only think that he lived in one of these. There was a fence separating us from the street and he decided to lean on it and have a conversation with what I am assuming is his now ex-girlfriend. The game was pretty easy to watch, kick the ball, catch the ball, out. So I started listening into this man's conversation and boy am I glad I did.

First of all I wasn't straining to hear the conversation because he was extremely vocal and loud so it was pretty easy to get the drift of what the fight was about. This girl, who's name I am assuming is Britney, called him up and started talking about how this guy plays softball too much and I am guessing she feels neglected. This man then responded that he was really good at softball and liked to play and she knew how he felt about this the whole time they have been dating. The way I am describing this does not do the tone justice. He was pretty much trying to not shout at her but I am pretty sure what he was thinking was,"You're crazy bitch now leave me alone."

So this fighting over him playing softball went on for a little bit and then the conversation turned. He started getting heated and I think she was ragging on him for spending time with his kid. He said I am sorry that I want to see my kid when I can and that it takes time away from you. I can deduce that he in fact has a baby mama and this Britney character is not her. He then proceeded to tell said girl that she does not understand what it is like to want to see your kid because she got rid of 3 of hers.

Ok wait hold up you are really having this conversation in front of a bunch of strangers?! I turned around and looked at my friend whom I will name Boop thank you to the Glitter Man. Boop was less conspicuous and kept her eyes averted and I just kept trying to look at anyone who would help me to realize I was not crazy and this was really happening. So Britney has now had 3 abortions and does not understand what maternal love means and to want to see your kid. I get it Britney, I am missing that maternal instinct also. It's ok to know that you don't want kids but maybe you should invest in something like I don't know birth control or condoms or sterilization.

Game proceeds and I am still listening to this guy. He then starts saying that she has been cheating on him because he sees her erase messages and pictures in front of him. Well sir at this point I wanted to turn to you and say I think it is time to give up on Britney. He was pretty angry though so my better judgement and curiosity said just let this play out. They argued for awhile longer and it seemed like he was trying to get her to listen to him and understand where he was coming from. In my head I knew she was crazy so I just wanted to take the phone and hang up. I then thought maybe she has a magical downstairs because no man would put up with this crazy.

He went back into the apartment and I thought it was over. I returned my attention back to the game and kept looking around to see if anyone else witnessed this craziness. No one seemed to think differently so I chalked it up to making a great story later. The man then comes back out and is pissed. He lights up a cigarette or a joint not sure and takes his iPhone and throws it against the brick wall and walks away. He must be made of money because you don't just throw Iphones away. Boop and I kinda backed away from the fence then. I saw him return 10 minutes later and pick up the pieces to his shattered phone and I am sure his shattered ego. I watched out of the corner of my eye because I figured if he is this mad he may take it out on us. Luckily his friends picked him up and drove him away.

Finally people noticed him throwing the phone and we all looked confused. The games continued on and I headed into work. Once Boop got there I asked her if she saw what the f had happened with this guy! She said she was listening the whole time and was just as confused as I was. We pieced together the abortion part of the story and that this couple was just crazy. I was so glad that I was not over thinking what was going on here and that shit really was getting real! I have not been back yet to hear anymore craziness from the neighbors of the kickball field but I can only assume that this man is still with Britney and she has probably had another abortion in the following weeks, it only seemed logical to me.

Note to all you kickballers listen to the people that surround the field, you could get some crazy good entertainment out of it. And I am sorry for the calls I missed but this guy's convo was way more interesting. Cheers!

Thanks for the Blank Stare

I realized last night where my frustration towards the end of the night comes into play. There are many things through out the night that a bartender puts up with and can easily brush off. This particular move however seems to be nails on a chalkboard to me. Let's develop a scenario so you can fully picture what I am talking about here.

It's 12:30 and the bar is pretty busy with partrons requesting drinks. We, meaning your wonderful bartenders, go as fast as possible to make sure that you receive your drinks in a reasonable amount of time. We are working and running to please our customers and make sure they reward us with a generous tip (hint hint.) Unfortunately someone always messes this process up. I hate to say it because they are of my sex but female patrons tend to give you the blank stare. I have no problem serving anyone of any race, sex, religious affiliation, hobbiest, etc. What I can not stand are the zombie like people that when asked what they would like stare at you dead face like this is the toughest decision they will ever face. Literally I had a girl stare at me for a solid minute (which doesn't sound like a lot but from a bartending perspective equals enough drinks to make a difference) before she started speaking. At first I thought maybe she couldn't understand what I was saying so I repeated myself and she then slowly looks away to her friends and start asking what they would like. She continues to order for her friends and I busily make the drinks and then she continues to stare at me because she doesn't know what she wants. Listen lady I have a full bar of people who know exactly what they want and I would like to accomodate them. I suggest a beer and she agrees. It was like pulling teeth. I bring her credit card back and again she zombie stares me down. When I saw her return I let the other bartender take her order and I am pretty sure Circles decided the same thing I did, let's just hope she blacks out and leaves!

Sadly this isn't even the worse part of the night. As the night progresses and more people fill up I notice more and more credit cards come into play, and not in the let's open a tab style but in the I want to pay for this one beer with my credit card. This does not bug me until the person repeatedly comes up and makes me close the credit card each time. Not only is it a waste of my time but this person should know they have to tip accordingly with each transaction and should just leave it open. You are clearly staying til 2 so let's just call a spade a spade and start you a tab. The even worse part of the credit cards is when I can clearly see cash sitting in the wallet. Ok if you have $20 I won't take your cab money, but if you have visibly more I would rather you throw that down.

Running credit cards each time you buy 2 drinks is a waste of our time and resources. Not sure what I mean by resources but I will edit that later. I prefer to use cash because then I do not get crazy with buying shots and drinks on my tab. It irks me that instead of paying the $8 for 2 Bud Lights you give me a credit card. I know this doesn't seem like it should be a big deal but I would rather not spend an hour at the end the night entering in your $1 tip repeatedly. So basis of this section of the blog is USE CASH. It isn't a difficult concept, and think of it this way, less credit card debt later!!

I do have to commend those of you who do not dead pan stare me down and order for your friends one at a time when you see I am busy. I do also appreciate those of you that use credit cards only for ongoing tabs and the others who pay cash for that one beer. Everyone else needs to learn the rules of patronizing a bar. You can read the rules in a prevoius blog if you have questions.

Hopefully something stands out tonight and I will be able to give you a funnier blog!!