Out Weird the Weirdo

On any given day at any bar you will find the weirdos slinking around either scamming on girls, standing in a corner alone, or the best when they talk to the bartender. Now most of the time we don't mind if you talk to us, we like to talk to people that is why we are in this industry (well and the great money we make) but anyway this is not aimed at everyone.

About a month ago (I know I know I have been really busy lately) there was an older man who came in probably closer to 50 and sat at the bar. He had been in before and chatted up Dragonmaster who very gallantly took everything he said in stride. Well this particular Sunday he crossed a line and told her she needed to get over her grandmother's death. Who are you sir to tell anyone what they should or should not do. This set the tone for the rest of this story.

He walks in and immediately asks if he looks like hes high. Apparently homeboy decided to tell everyone he smoked a lot of pot and probably had a BAC of .08 already. Dragnomaster tried to ignore his drink requests because she didn't want anything bad to happen. Well he started talking to her and asking her questions and said he found her on linked in and shit started to get weird. She kept a smile and tried to play it off but you could tell she was getting upset with this conversation. I noticed and went to tell Muffy, he was too busy playing words with friends so he just sat there. Luckily one of our regulars from Melrose was in. He had heard what was going on and took matters into his own hands

We will name him Crazy M. So Crazy M goes to the bar and sits a couple seats away from this lunatic. He starts clearing his throat every minute and randomly touching the beer taps with one finger but does it to where he looks nervous to be touching them. He keeps jerking his hand back and attempting to touch it but in fact does not. This guy sees him and starts asking him questions and Crazy M says he is fine but continues to do odd things at the bar. Crazy M engages in conversation and starts telling the man these crazy stories hoping to scare this guy out of the bar. (The whole time he is still trying to touch the beer taps) well this goes on for at least an hour, I am hysterically laughing on the ground because this guy has no clue. My tables start to catch on and start to engage in this activity.

At one point the lunatic moves closer to CM and CM freaks out and starts yelling TOO CLOSE!!! So the guy backs away. There was a set of silverware on the bar and a spoon from a skillet cookie. CM takes the spoon and starts tapping it menacingly on the bar. The guy starts egging him on and saying he is crazy. CM just stares at him with this blank look of hatred. He then brings out the big guns, the butter knife. The guys starts saying we should take it away and not allow him to have it. CM starts slamming it on the bar and rocking back and forth and making crazy sounds. I can't be in the same area cause I am laughing much to hard at this point.

Finally CM starts to pace a bit and touch the beer taps and the guy has had it. He walks away and says he may be back. We are all hoping not due to his creepiness but you never know. CM says if he comes back he will go and get his Batman costume and wear it around the bar. The man never returns and has not since this day. It has been over a month and we are hoping he stays away.

Now the thing about working in the bar industry is that you see a lot of crazy things happen, a lot of crazy outfits, you hear a lot of crazy conversations, but there are lines that you do not cross with people. We can handle a lot but if you get over that line we call in reinforcements. Luckily we have awesome regulars who would never let anything happen to us (this of course is on days when our wonderful bouncing team is not around). The moral of this story ladies and gentleman is to not be a douche or a creep and you will not get scared out of the bar by a man with a butter knife. Boom.