It was your typical Saturday night and I was working while my friends were drinking (per usual) I believe there had been a big game that brought out my fellow SIU alumni and they were not exactly what I would call sober. This group loves shots and they had been consuming them all day along with our bartender, you guessed it Dragonmaster!! Now she was off work and enjoying her time with this group in the corner of the bar.
The type of jeans she was wearing will be imperative to this story in a bit. They had holes all over the knees and butt area (not showing the goodies but the fashionable kind) and they had been ripped over the year due to snags on the bar or other debacles. At some point in the night I went over there to talk to some of the people and noticed that a hot mess was about to ensue. I saw Dragonmaster go to the bar to ask for scissors, this is where the story gets fuzzy. I am unsure of who but someone convinced her to cut her leg off of her jeans. So she stood there while one leg was cut off and went about her daily business.
Let's pain a picture: a group of intoxicated individuals with one girl who has one full pant leg and one poorly cropped other leg. As a true friend I could not let her walk around looking like that so naturally I went and chopped the other leg off as well. I would want someone to do the same for me. Unfortunately it is hard to cut a pant leg off when someone is still wearing them. She looked like a broke down hillbilly because of the chop job.
As a souvenir we posted the pant leg up on the bar and it stayed there until the Xmas decorations went up (apparently they clashed) it is a reminder that your friends are all assholes.
The group left and the pant legs stayed. we received a call later from Dragonmaster in which she was unsure of where the cab driver dropped her off and where her house was from there. Normally I would be worried about a woman walking alone in Chicago with a bag full of money but for some reason I think people would just assume she was homeless from her looks and leave her alone. I mean who would want to try to attack the girl with missing pant legs? I think the homeless didn't even want to bother with it. Luckily we found out she made it home safe and all in one piece. The pants story will forever be one of my favorites because of the hot mess that happened that night.
Disclaimer: this is not Dragonmaster, this is some other poor soul who has asshole friends
