Just Dance

It's Saturday night, the bar is packed. People are swinging their arms around and shaking their butts to the tunes and styling of Cowboy Casanova and Muffy. The drinks are flowing the lights are dim and somewhere in the crowd at least one couple is making out or 2 strangers are gazing over their bud lights hoping for that inevitable hook up that will partake around 3 possibly 5 am (if they proceed on to Tai's Til 4) Us servers are weaving through the crowded masses to indulge people in their beverage of choice, mind you this is no easy feat for us to get through the drunk throngs of people and we hope to at least make a dollar or 2 off of our hard work.

After delivering the libations I head back to see if I can make some poor souls buy some shots as to give me more profits. As I am making my way back I notice a group of guys who look like easy prey. (Sorry guys but it is the truth, you see a girl with a tray and automatically buy shots.) Anyway I approach them to make the sale. The next part never fails. One drunk guy in the group decides he is this era's Kevin Bacon and begins to dance. He then grabs my hand and tries to persuade me to join in the festivities. At this point I have had enough fill of drunk people and just stand their smiling politely as I decline the offer. He continues to attempt this delicate tango (which is actually more like an epileptic having a seizure) and then tries for the suave moves of twirling me around like we are in some ancient ball room. I give him a twirl still hoping for the sale because his friends are all mightily embarrassed by their cohorts actions.

He thinks this is OK and continues to dance, I laugh in good nature and proceed to speak with his friends leaving this person to dance by himself in the middle and hopefully find a new dancing partner with a young drunk girl. His friends buy shots and apologize profusely for their friend's actions. I assure them it is alright and happens every Saturday.

Now this is not just one incident I am talking about here people. This happens every Saturday. Why must drunk guys think their waitress wants to dance with them? I am literally there to take your money and be on my merry way. One guy in a group of guys out for the night thinks his dancing will lure me (and every other server) into his grasp and make us fall in love. Guess what buddy you are only keeping me from making my money that I so thoroughly work for.

Maybe it's a guy thing, maybe it's his first time at the bar, maybe he is just that drunk that he doesn't realize that I don't want to dance. I always tell them to look at that girl over there and try to persuade him away. Most of the time it works, I have had groups of friends drag their friend away and try to distract him from bothering me. Although amusing to watch from a distance when you are trying to work it is a bit annoying for someone to try to spin you around or do ridiculous dance moves around your area. It is especially tiresome when you have a tray of drinks and some dbag thinks they weigh nothing and that you want to dance then. Listen buddy this tray is heavy and all I want is to get to my table to deliver the drinks.

I find most antics and pick up lines amusing because me being as witty as I am, generally have a comeback. But sometimes you just have to know when to walk away. Some of the more funnier dances I have seen come from one of our Messner regulars. Now he has never tried to dance with me nor annoyed me ever. He is Dalton's friend and I laugh every time he does a particular move.

Every now and again we will put on some old music (I'm talking 50s and 60s with some Elvis mixed in) and he does what I like to refer to as the Elvis leg. He does this popping of his right leg to the beat of the music and imitates Elvis. It is amazing to watch his rhythm and realize that even bomb wasted he's still got the moves. Last weekend in fact he started busting it out and a small group formed around him in awe of the stellar leg. I must say in all of my time in bars his is one of my favorites. Another regular has recently come out and shown his love of boy band songs and takes the whole bar by storm in dancing to Dirty Pop and I Want it That Way. His moves are endless and his energy is tiring to watch, but you can't help to notice that he has the boy band moves down pat. Now if we could just get him to have his own trivia round where he dances for everyone it would be a great sight!!! If you are wondering who this elusive dancer is you need to look no further than the Idiot table and wait until after trivia to see the astonishing dance moves that he possesses. I can't say his name for fear that I would out him without his consent and later be sued but as soon as I get the ok I will post a video of his moves!