Baby It's...Rapey Outside?

Memoir of a disturbing holiday song:

With the holidays upon us I have been gearing up with Christmas cheer by listening to one of my all time favorite winter songs. As I am singing along to this tune I am reminded of the variety show that my sorority and friendly neighbor fraternity put on my freshman year. We teamed up and used Christmas as our theme with elaborate costumes, script, dancing, and singing. One of the chosen songs was “Man With the Bag”, now that is just to easy to pick on, hello Santa the drug dealer, but this song I am about to dissect eluded me at the time.

I had no idea that rape was so big in 1944, but luckily if you were a blue eyed crooner anything goes. So it is with a heavy heart that I learned of this song’s hidden meaning and will divulge the information to the rest of the good people of the US. This is not to say that I will no longer listen and belt my lungs out to it, oh no this is just to open our eyes to what really went on in those poor, war filled days. (Was there a war then or am I making this up?)

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I really can't stay
(but baby it's cold outside)
I've got to go away
(but baby it's cold outside)

Alright it starts off simple enough, the woman begins singing about how she must be on her way, maybe to meet another paramour or to get home to the dogs, we are unsure. The “gentleman” in this song decides that he has to point out the obvious that it is cold outside and repeats it incessantly through out this entire song. Here begins the pleading that all women find so attractive in a man (insert sarcasm.)

This evening has been
(been hoping that you'd drop in)
So very nice
(i'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)

She is politely saying it’s been a pleasure stopping in but I need to get the fuck outta here dude. This guy is sending subliminal messages while she talks about hoping she would stop in because he wants to get some. He knew he could woo her as soon as she dropped in by telling her it is cold outside and that her hands are the proof. He is going to hold her hand in order to make sure she doesn’t step foot outside the door. I am sure heavy hand holding leads to heavy petting which leads to clothes on the floor in front of the fire place because body heat will keep you warm. At least that’s what I was told.

My mother will start worry
(beautiful whats your hurry)
My father will be pacing the floor
(listen to the fireplace roar)

Woman is now basically saying ok man you are getting pretty handsy there and my mom is going to put out an amber alert if you don’t let me go. Ahh and the man of course uses pretty words, because alas we all fall for being told we are pretty. Sigh, the curse of being a woman. She is still struggling with her conscience right now because it is 1944 after all and women did not stay the night with men they were not married to, had this song been written by now this man would have had to just her some shots and its all systems go.

Anyway she is trying to remember the modesty her dad has taught her and says he will be waiting up for her. I am not sure how old this girl is suppose to be but I think she is lying, I mean really your dad is going to be pacing waiting for you? On the flipside homeboy here is trying to tell her it is warm and inviting in front of the fireplace and they should go sit and be cozy and talk about how cold it is outside for a bit. Also if you sit in front of the fireplace it gets hotter meaning you take off more clothing in the mean time. Ahh tricky trick this one.

So really i'd better scurry
(beautiful please don't hurry)
but maybe just a half a drink more
(put some records on while i pour)

It’s about to get real weird here people, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Lady says still she needs to scurry along and make it home before her dad gets the village people (not the singing group) to come with their torches and find this young crooner. Again he uses the lines we all like to hear, please call me beautiful and I will do whatever you ask of me, unless it involves anal beads that is out of the question. And he is starting to wear her down.

She says she will have a half a drink, I don’t know bout everyone else but a half a drink is unlikely, what type of drink, a rum and coke, whiskey on the rocks, I mean what are we talking here? This fine upstanding gentleman says go put on some music while I pour you a drink. Instantly this is where it gets a bit strange. Go turn your back on me while I pour this drink and possibly slip a roofie in it because you won’t stay willingly. Now I would ask him at this point if he had a Keith Sweat record because that would only make things even more awkward for everyone. So she obligingly goes and finds some records and he pours her a drink, hmmmm.


the neighbors might faint
(baby it's bad out there)
say what's in this drink
(no cabs to be had out there)

After she decides to stay for another drink she starts to think about the neighbors, well sweetie if they’re going to talk, better give them something to talk about. I like to quote the always glamorous Marilyn here “well behaved women never made history.” So, again, our gentleman lover had decided to remind her that it is bad out in the snow and getting colder as the night wears on. All the sudden she starts to taste something funny in her drink or starts to feel the effects of the GHB that has been slipped into her drink. I know what it is like to be roofied and you don’t have a taste of anything you just kind of start to slip away into the world. Smooth one mister, let’s hope she isn’t totally unconscious for this act you have in mind. However he totally by passes her comment and continues on letting her know that it is so bad the cab drivers are no longer on the road, whoops looks like you are stuck here you little lady you.


i wish i knew how
(your eyes are like starlight now)
to break this spell
(i'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I am fairly convinced that at this point she has no idea what she is saying and how to get out of being stuck in this man’s house. He is telling her that her eyes look glassy (success on the drugs he purchased behind the ally that day.) She wants to come out of this hazy stage and know what is going on. Ah but this man is on top of his game, he will take your hat so you must stay because a lady does not leave the house without her hat on. As he does this a compliment will take her attention away from that fact that she no longer has control of her movements, yes this is all going according to plan.


i ought to say "no, no, no sir"
(mind if i move in closer)
at least i'm gonna say that i tried
(what's the sense in hurtin' my pride)
i really can't stay
(oh baby don't hold out)

She messes up here and says I ought to say no, you should have said no bitch then it would have held up in a court of law, oh the stupidity of the women before us. Now he is asking permission if he can get closer to her, yea after you roofied her you think you need permission? She is going to say that she tried to say no and dissuade him from his original plan, maybe she is just kind of slutty and is asking for it? He is using the typical guy line, why would you want to hurt me baby, I just want to love you. We have all seen it in the movies, I doubt that was common back then so she is going to let it happen because back then men were the ones who controlled the situation and life. However she will try one last plea to get out of this house and into the cold and escape from his clutches. He is asking that she not leave him “hanging” as we all know the myth that is associated with this sentence. Fail.

both:baby it's cold out side

Stating the obvious yet again.

i simply must go
(but baby it's cold outside)
the answer is no
(but baby it's cold outside)

She is still trying to get out of this and yet her eyes are starting to droop and she is not sure why she is so tired and why everything sounds twisted and muffled in her brain. All he is saying is it’s cold outside, come on dude use some new lines. Here she says no, you go girl!!

your welcome has been
(how lucky that you dropped in)
so nice and warm
(look out the window at that storm)

Thank you sir for taking me in and you have kept me warm but it is time to move on and below is a list of reasons why I must be going forth with my journey home. Guy: I am going to pretend you are not talking and just keep reminding you how shitty it is outside and that I am happy you are here now. Oh shit did this just turn into Silence of the Lambs?!

my sister will be suspicious
(gosh your lips look delicious)
my brother will be there at the door
(waves upon the tropical shore)

Her sister will now be waiting with her dad and apparently her brother. They will want to know where she has been and why she is returning at the crack of 10pm and if her chastity has been taken from her. Again guy doesn’t care just says he wants to eat her lips apparently. Yup shits getting weirder, damn roofies. I am not sure why he is talking about waves on a tropical shore but he has my attention now, I am in, unless he plans on bringing me to an island where I am alone and chopped into bits, wow these people had crazy minds back then to!

my maiden aunts mind is vicious
(gosh your lips are delicious)
but maybe just a cigarette more
(never such a blizzard before)

Her aunt who is a maiden still because she is either ugly, fat, or poor is sitting there putting thoughts into her families heads about what their dear daughter is doing. I would flip her the bird when I got home and just say yea at least I am pretty. Apparently he has now tasted her lips and is wooing her into staying longer because he wants more to taste.

Now I have recently quit smoking so it upsets me that this is the song because I am about to rip someone’s head off in order to get one. So she is now saying a cigarette more. You can lace those puppies up to when you are not looking and make them into something more dangerous then a roofie. However this guy doesn’t seem clever enough to think of something like that so I will let him slide on this particular offense. It has now started to blizzard outside, or he has someone standing outside with a snow blower hitting the windows to make it look worse then it is so he can get a piece of ass.

i've gotta get home
(but baby you'd freeze out there)
say lend me a coat
(it's up to your knees out there)

She is doing her best to go home again and she may actually have a way out. He tries saying frostbite is a serious problem, but if you have been in a snow storm before you know that when it is snowing it actually isn’t that cold out at the time so ha gotcha sucka. She says give me your coat (oh man her maiden aunt is going to be pissed at that one!) He chimes back with it’s up to your knees out there. He wishes she were on his knees now because his “pride” is hurting, good one bro. She seems to be making her escape finally, how she will get home we don’t know but she is on a mission!

you've really been grand
(i thrill when you touch my hand)
but don't you see?
(how can you do this thing to me?)

Ah young love just kidding she’s not leaving at all. She pays her compliments and he makes sure she knows that she gives him butterflies in his downstairs. She tries to tell him why she can’t stay again and why it would be bad for her reputation and he asks how she can just leave him like this. I must say persistence is key in this particular lover’s quarrel and it seems that he is wearing her down. I am sure she is kicking herself for having that last drink, damn him for giving me the courage to spread my legs, welp let’s hope it’s good for her sake!

there's bound to be talk tomorrow
(think of my lifelong sorrow)
at least there will be plenty implied
(if you got pneumonia and died)
i really can't stay
(get over that old out)

She is afraid of her reputation and what people would think, which is logical and she hopes that he starts to see it. What if they don’t get married, the she is scarred with the reputation of a hussy and will forever be the “slut” of the society crowd. What a cross to bear, what to do, who to turn to?! He is saying he will forever be saddened if they don’t get down and dirty tonight, really dude, that is your excuse? Now she is going along with it, that enough will be implied to make her a bad girl or for him to buy her a ring. I am sure she is ready to be married off and this could be the way to get him, yes sleep with him get pregnant and then he will be hers forever! Oh he was actually sad that if she went into the cold she would get pneumonia and die, well isn’t that sweet and this whole time we thought it was all about the sex. She says again she really can’t stay for her reputation and because it would turn out bad. I think she did the brush up against his junk and decided it wasn’t worth it. He is saying get over that expression and just stay; they have been arguing it for so long now, why not.

both: baby it's cold
baby it's cold outside

She breaks down and stays because well apparently it is cold outside.

So this was my interpretation of the song and how I feel this man preyed on this girl. I think this is one of the best songs ever, I am not sure why I love it so much, maybe cause Dean Martin is sexy and I would have been a girl that fell for his lines as well. Maybe I read this whole thing wrong and really he is a good guy who was worried about his gal. I didn’t live back then so I don’t know what was morally right and wrong, I just know that I have my opinions on how strict everyone was and let me tell you I would not have lasted in high society, unless I snagged a wealthy bachelor.

However this song is a classic and will be played on the radio plenty of times and every time you hear it you can think about the creepy rape scene that will be ingrained into your minds forever because now you know the truth about “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”