Awkwardly Straight

A gorgeous thursday off at the beach was just what I needed. I went with my friend KK and burned up pretty nice and good. While relaxing and discussing future plans of her possibly moving far away from me, we decided to either get tattoos or massages. I had said that I really want a tattoo but wasnt sure what I wanted at the time so I didnt want to go into this all willy nilly. We stayed at the beach for like 5 hours and decided on a massage.

They have those deals for first timers at a couple of places and we had decided on Heavenly Massage. It was an hour wait so we went and looked around good old BG, or is it Arlington Heights now? I don't remember exactly. Anyway we got back there and KK started asking about couples' massages because her boyfriend's bday is coming up and she wanted to get him one. Apparently they thought it was for us and offered to give us couples' room. They brought us into the room and explained how to lie down on the tables which were next to each other. There was just enough room for the girls to get around and massage us properly. After telling us how to lie down they showed us the basket for our clothing. They promptly left the room after this to let us get naked.

Now I lived in a house of 30+ girls in college for 2 years and somehow ended up with the roommates who liked to walk around nude all the time (Cat Lady) so I was pretty use to female nudity and am pretty immune to the whole thing. For some reason we thought this was hilarious and couldn't stop giggling. They didn't even ask if we wanted to be able to get in the covers separately or anything, just assumed we were together and it was cool. We were still laughing about this situation for a couple minutes when they came into massage us. I am pretty sure they gave us extra time for some kissy kissy I am assuming actually.

Our massages commenced and it was definitely not that relaxing experience I was hoping for. It was good and my lady worked out some knots but it still wasn't somewhere I would go back to. I felt like they kinda rushed the whole massage and didn't seem interested in being there. So when they finally finished they asked if we wanted to shower together or get hot towels. We again just opted for hot towels and could not contain our giggles. I almost felt like I was letting them down by not being gay. I think they thought we needed alone time and scurried out of there quickly. Note to people who may not know but you can only tip in cash so be prepared. We were not ready and felt like assholes and only giving them a small amount.

We went on to dinner with KK's bf and met this awesome couple who were older by a couple years but super funny. Normally I would be wierded out with another party talking to us but by that point in the day anything could happen. I mean I just took a couples' massage with my friend and they thought we were lovers and now we were having an interesting convo about how to keep a marriage alive by traveling away from each other all the time. It was amusing to say the least. Their love of reality TV made me take an instant liking to them. To top off the night Jersey Shore 2 premiered and let me tell you those meatheads can make anyone feel better about themselves. I was stunned to learn Snooki had never had fried pickles. It makes me very upset considering it is only one of the best foods out there. Ignorance I tell ya ignorance.