GROSS!!!

Ok so I was working last night and it was crazy busy! Illinois played SIU and in a devastating defeat of my Alma matter I cried a little and had to put up with a bit of hassling. I wanted very much to revel in a great defeat and know that my girls and guys tailgating the night away in the paign had something to celebrate. All good things come with bad though I guess. So anyway I was bartending and dealing with those drunken fools who give me their money and order drinks the wrong way and don't specify certain liquors and then seem to be upset when I give them well vodka, hello you never said I had to give you effen! Oh well, everyone was pretty toasted and this group of girls came in and kept screaming loudly and hurting my ears. It was like nails on a chalkboard in all reality but they were being nice to me so I let them screech as loud as they wanted.

Basically the whole night was people getting blacked out which I fully support because in the end it all comes back to me and my fellow coworkers. So I was with Vampy (she loves vamps as much as I do) and BB. We had been busy and running our asses off all night and towards the end people started to depart our dear bar. Well there was a couple that stayed and put on quite a spectacular show for us. Let me paint you a picture of what these cats looked like. The man was tall and awkward and had glasses with what looked like a jew fro and a bright yellow shirt (way to stand out man), his lady partner had on a dress and a white gauzy blouse over it, she was a little heftier but it suit her well I guess. I don't know if this was love at first sight or what but there was major kissy face action going on with these 2 and I am pretty sure they later went home and made a baby.

Well we noticed them lurking about the beer taps and falling in love to the magical musical stylings of the bar and thought gee was this a chance meeting or something that has been going on? It was a weird interaction and they kept making out. Now when I first saw the girl she had her gauzy see through top on the correct way, I then saw her take it off and show the gentleman caller what she was working with. I turned around served some more people (whom obviously never read my blog because they didn't know the rules of interacting with their bartenders) and when I turned around again the top was on. We started to get bored with them so we turned our attention elsewhere and moved on. Well Vampy was the first to notice that this girls top was inside out. I must say walking around a bar in Chicago with your shirt inside out is not exactly the classiest way to get attention but I guess it worked for them. He found it attractive and proceeded to dry hump her against the bar. We had our laughs and Vampy and I stepped outside towards the end of the night.

As we are sitting outside with Mrs. Southside we notice that these 2 leave the bar hand in hand searching for a cab, we start laughing because it was just way to awkward of a couple to be taken seriously and Mrs. Southside yells out,"Don't forget the ether." Now we being the polite and gentile ladies everyone expects start laughing hysterically. The guy turns back and says."good one lady" He was clearly disturbed and doesn't understand a joke when he hears one, I mean come on dude you got her in the cab already just let it go. So he says some other remark under his breath and takes off. We literally are still laughing and unsure of how to go about the next half hour.

Now ladies and gentleman rule of thumb, we are not your parents basement, we do not want to see you kissing at the bar and carrying on like teenagers. While we definitely aid in this decision we don't necessarily want to see the play by play. I am sure that girl woke up today and wondered what happened and why this guy siting next to her looked like he was straight out of Revenge of the Nerds, but that is neither here nor there. It was a good laugh and made the night more entertaining for those of us who didn't get a chance to sit down and watch the commotion going on around us!